Thursday, 8 February 2018

I had a dream......

I had a dream last night. It was short. Just a set of lock gates opening. 

I don't dream every night, but this one was most welcome, as it was dream of encouragement, one that was posted into my head by the greater forces of the Universe. 
So how do I know that it was coming in to my head rather than being a dream being invented by my head. Because the message which went with that dream was 'you are moving forward'. Wow! I would never invent a dream like that for myself. And anyway, my dreams are normally like watching a film, sometimes I am in them, sometimes I am an observer, but most times a story is being told, and very fascinating and interesting they are too. 
So looking forward to seeing what transpires in the months ahead. 

I recently joined a meditation group, a lovely bunch of people, not 'seriously earnest' types, just people wanting to get some balance in their lives in a vaguely Buddhist type of way. No chanting or anything like that, but they do sit on cushions on the floor but I don't, I sit on a chair because if I sat on the floor it would take me an age to get up again. This is something I would like to remedy this year, that I would like to be able to get down on the floor and then be able to get back up again without assistance, although I did manage to get back up again when my foot got into a tangle with a piece of string and I fetched up in a muddy puddle underneath the eaves of the gate house being drenched with falling water which was made up of melting hailstones. I was on my way out to the side field to get our small flock of sheep into shelter before their lambs succumbed to coldness from the freezing hailstones and rain. It is surprising what one can do when there is an urgent need coming from someone or something else. So it did not do for me too stay long in the puddle waiting to see where pain would strike because I was needed to be get those lambs back into the barn. I therefore became able, somehow, to get myself up, the need to be on the move. As I say, it is surprising what one can do when one has to. 

But I really need to be able to get up from the floor in a more elegant manner, so once the weather gets warmer I shall start having a go at getting up and down. I would like to sit on a floor cushion while meditating like everyone else. Sitting on a chair makes me feel like an elderly lady, which I am not ready to be just yet. 

Meditation is a word which, to me, has always meant effort. Trying to calm a very bouncy mind is something which is beyond me for most of the time. So why would I want to get my mind under control? Because it stops me from being at peace within myself, that's all. Does that matter? Well it does if I want to start writing again. And it does if I want to help my body to continue to heal after the hospital episode last October. 

I had a dream last night. I have paid attention to it, and not dismissed it. If you ever have a dream which is clear and informative, then pay attention to it as well because it is meant to give you encouragement and hope, and to let you know that another you are heading towards another step in your life and that it will be alright. 


Monday, 5 February 2018

What to do........

First of all, do we sell the cows, or not? 
- Do we convert back to having goats as the provider of our milk, or not?
Shall we keep the sheep? Yes, definitely. We have managed to get the flock numbers down to a manageable size, so no probs there.
- The chickens...... definitely keep them, and increase their numbers, probably using the old pig pens.
- What about the Market Garden Project? Haven't a clue what to do about that so waiting for Divine Intervention to show me the way. 
- All in all, everything has got pushed up into the air, and this is because Lester is now having to go back to the UK several times a year, leaving me Home Alone.

Now it is a good thing that he is able to work from home, not so good that he is going to have to make that long twelve hour trip back to London. We know it takes that long because he has just got back from such a trip. I, meanwhile, did Home Alone with the farm, and I managed quite well, in fact better than I thought I would.

- I enticed the sheep to and fro the Side Field each day by bribing them with armfuls of hay. 
Fortunately the lambs are only a few days old so stayed close to their mums. In a few days time they will be confident enough to get up to all sorts of shenanigans, which will include having gang romps anywhere else but where they should be going. 

- The Chicken Gang and myself got used to being in close proximity to each other, and I learnt not to get impatient when waiting for them to go to bed at night, most of the hens preferring to climb through small holes in the fencing wire rather than come through the open gate, and them getting in to a fluster because they did not have the sense to understand that the reason that the hole in the wire was getting to be such a tight fit was because they were getting bigger as they headed towards maturity. 

- Fortunately we do not have any pigs to look after at the moment, so just the cows. 
Oh they are such big animals, with occasional attitude, and horns.

But I did manage to get ten big bags of hay brought from off the hay bales out on the Front Drive, which needed to be done daily. Day One of Home Alone saw me not being able lift one bag very well, but my Day Three I could manage three at once. 
The cleaning of the pen, though, was not done with any efficiently. Lester uses a long shovel and a scoop to pick the poo up, but both were too heavy for me to lift at the same time, particularly if loaded with manure. So I 'borrowed' my washing up gloves and a bucket from the kitchen, and got the bigger clods up by hand, but only the piles of poo which were not anywhere near the feet of the cows. Those were left for Lester to sort out when he came home again.
But we have come to realise that looking after the cows is going to be too big a job for me when left Home Alone again, especially in the warmer weather when they will have to be got out on to the fields to graze, then brought in twice a day to be milked.
So we are now thinking that we might have to sell them, and buy goats. 
This topic is an ongoing one with us, the solution not yet settled upon. 

So, onwards we gallop towards the Spring.
I can feel the need to sort out seeds starting to whisper inside me.
Meanwhile I shall continue to enjoy the endless hours of doing crochet, knitting, and all the other things that there is no time to do once the warmer weather arrives.

Off to do something, not sure what, but it will probably be creative!

Bye for now,


Sunday, 7 January 2018

This is me......

Giving me permission to be me, that is what I am promising myself as a project for this year.
That if the washing up is not done every day, then so be it.
That if the tiled floors of the house are not pristine, that it does not matter.
That if the house is not super duper tidy, at least it looks lived in.
And to stop believing that I have to achieve such high standards of perfection,
because I am all right as I am.
And here is me.
This is the cosy chair in the kitchen. It is actually quite uncomfortable to sit in because the springs underneath the seat tend to poke up into my posterior, not enough to wound though, just enough to give a gentle poke. And I have to be careful about fidgeting about in the chair because the arms are a bit shakey, and will probably fall off in the not too distant future.
But it is easy to sit in one position, because the chair is narrow and I easily fill the space of it up, me being of a cuddly size and shape.
The chair is quite old, not an antique, just seen quite a lot of life, which is a bit like me....although suffering some physical damage, still carrying on, being useful when needed. As I say, a bit like me!
The blue cushion is no longer plump, but flattened by age and made some years ago when I had my shop in which I made and sold garments for big ladies. The fabric that the cushion is made from a remnant of cloth from that time, and the buttons also. They must be over thirty years old. Crikey, but how time flies. I was a mum of young children at the time. Now I am a granny with a farm.
I still sew, it is part of who I am. I like to be dressed in clothes I have made. Makes me feel an entire person. I also knit and crochet. I wear my clothes rather than my clothes wearing me. What I mean is, that because I wear clothes which stretch and move with me, that I do not feel confined. I don't wear trousers. They make me feel squashed up. I like to feel the wind on my legs. But not in the winter. When it is cold I 'borrow' my husband's long john thermals. They are not as elegant as my white lady lacy thermal leggings, but neither do they make me itch.
So I have a love of all things knitted, crocheted, and sewn, which tends to give me a vaguely Boho (Bohemian) look, which is not cultivated but has sort of arrived as I have got older, and still continues to keep on arriving!
I also spin the fleece from our sheep, but have not as yet made anything much it. There is a skein of wool hanging on the shelf behind the chair. There are skeins hanging about all round the house.
And beside this skein is set of small  wooden butter pats, which I bought so that I could make tidy pats of butter when I process the cream into butter from the milk of our cows. But these wooden pats did not work for me, and instead I roll the butter into a
balled oblong shape, which looks far more arty and artisanal!
Hanging on the other side of the shelf is my gardening hat, which is very floppy so does limit my range of vision, but it  does keep the sun off my face. This hat also adds to the Boho effect. Walking about the garden carrying my bucket of garden tools and produce all adds to the effect as well!
 And just to mention that the Market Garden Project is in a sort of limbo at the moment. Now Lester is working in his virtual office for many hours of the day the Project is now in my hands.
Not to worry, the way ahead will become clearer to me, of that I am sure, even if at the moment the forward pathway is shrouded in fog.
As in all things, when the way seems blocked,
best to be patient and wait,
best not to give up,
best not to divert one's self on to another project which would probably turn out to be a waste of time anyway, but to busy one's self with doing smaller projects which do not need a pathway ahead.
So, wishing you patience in abundance for any stuck pathways in your life,
and hoping that 2018 sees the way forward being shown to you,
Bye for now,